f August 2010 ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

talking about ....

i have been happy.
:)
and it feels really good.
thanks to my fabulous friends and you.
you did not do anything much, but still, it makes me happy ^^

so and so. story number onee.
HE IS BACK.
the one guy i am feeling guilty of, back hunting my life.
at first, he was just wishing me happy birthday.
then, he ask me to approve his friend request in facebook.
which is now i decided not to.
why?
masih belum bersedia menerima si dia.
oh, yes. walaupun sebagai kawan.
he said he'd change.
but then, he still sound like the old typical him.
and i, so not going to stuck with that one person i hated AGAIN.
thanks, but, i had enough.
just, go grow up first, will ya?
:)

next is about him.
hey. thanks for the sweet short messages you've send to me.
:)
somehow, it does makes me smile.
but gimme some time, ayte?
you're a sweet guy.
thanksalot.


and to my best friend here,
i am so sorry about what had happened to you.
i couldn't believe that when everything had settle down for me, things got on you pulak.
she have change you.
i can somehow feel that.
sometimes, i feel like i missed the old you.
i missed the long messages.
the funfunfunfunfun talk.
its not that now our talk is not fun.
but its just that its kinna dull because you're unhappy.
but its okay la. i dont blame you.
whatever problem you have with her, just settle that down, okay?
i miss that tone voice of yours when you sounded so happy.
even back then, when you were talking about her.
to be honest, if i were you, i'd be single already for now.
its not that i ask you to break, i understand how much you love  her,
but then, i dont want you to be in such grief anymore.
i miss you being happy.
:)
that is one thing i adore about you,
i tak mungkin jadi sesabar you. :)
and dont tryna act happy while with me. i can still sense your grief.
kita bukan baru kenal semalam.

NEXTNEXT!
MY NEW ADDICTION!



semenjak kau hadir dalam hidupku
tiada lagi keresahan
kau mengetuk pintu hatiku
tanpa sedar hingga ku izinkan
kau yang bernama cinta
kau yang memberi rasa
kau yang ilhamkan bahagia
hingga aku terasa indah
maaf jika ku tidak sempurna
tika bahagia mula menjelma
bila keyakinan datang merasa
kasiih disambut dengan kejujuran
mencintai dirimu
merindui dirimu
memiliki dirimu hingga akhir hayat bersama kamu.
kauang bernama cinta 
kau yang memberi rasa
kau yang ilhamkan bahagia
hingga aku rasa indah
kau yang bernama cinta
hingga aku rasa indaaaah.

<3

(clicktohearsong)
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Saturday, August 28, 2010

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAAY! :)

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to su
happy birthday to youuuu

:)
WHO EVER THE HELL THAT WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
  I LOVE ALL OF YOU!


So, my awesome birthday starts here.
i was studying, in my room, as so as my other roommates.
then, one of her just came up to me at wxact midnight and shouted
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SU!!

ye, AMALINA RASHID @ MAL @ MACHED, kamu adalah orang yang pertama wish saya birthday.
thankyou, KIPASMATE. :)
so, lepas tu, datanglah genggeng bilik karpet yang lain.
dan menyanyikan lagu happy birthday untuk saya. :)
the next day,
THERE GOES MY AWESOME CLASSMATES, yang turut beramairamai menyanyikan birthday song dalam kelas.
and so, my fon cant stop ringing.
and kakak2 senior yang same level, lepas bace yassin, boleh pulak nyanyikan lagi untuk saya.
and all the facebook-ers.
ex-assuntarians.
lotsofhearts <3
THANKYOU FOR MAKING MY DAY. :)

later that day, on the 27th, my day start with tears.
well, obviously, not a good start of a day.
why?
haha. dont ask.
because it is still unacceptable.
when you felt so isolated, so far away and so unimportant.......
but then, i have THEM
INTAN SYAZLIANA (kaklong)
SUHAILI NADIAH ( kaksu)
AMALINA RASHID (kakpupu)
MIA MAYA (ice-cream goreng)
yang telah menculik saya keluar UiTM and turn it into an AWESOME day.
entah bila diorang beli chocolate indulgence, AND I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO CLUE!
you guys are the best. :)
sayangsangatsangat.
thankyousomuch.
will remember you always. :)


to my BESTFRIEND for eternity,
AINUR SYAHIRA and BERNICE SEW.
cant wait to go back and spend the time with you, next.
eventhough i have great birthday with such great frens, here.
still, u'd be the best fren for all time.
LOVE!


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Sunday, August 22, 2010

BLANK


this is what happen when you wanna say something.
but you cant find the perfect words.
















bytheway, can i have that smile once again?



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Saturday, August 21, 2010

out of an ordinary ringring!



me, him

hey.
hmm?
remember when i told you i have something to tell you?
aaa?
ingat tak?
yupyup. what is it?
errmm.. aduuh. malu ah plaak.
huh?
haha, poyo je nak malu :P
LOL. cakap je laa.
ayte.
...
I LOVE YOU.
whaaat?
I... LOVE... YOU....
....
....
hahaha *awkward laugh* you kidding.
no i'm not.
yes you are!
serious shit, i'm not.
...
*starts to mumble, out of embarassment*
...
how can you be so sure?
i dont know. this is about me, about something i feel inside my heart. something that i cannot lie. something that you have to know.
and about i said just now, i am freaking serious.
so what you want me to do?
aaa? erh.. gah! susah laa.. emm... wait, u okay tak?
huh? um. yeah. cakap je la. i nak dengar.
sure?
yeah.
okaay. its just that.. if it possible la... i want to be your boyfriend..
hahaha. craaaazy!
huh?
wait. dont you think this is like going too fast?
i know. i know. but....
i still dont understand, you barely even know me...
i faham.
but its like...
LOVE AT THE FIRST SIGHT, you know?
...






sometimes when you feel like crying,
doesn't always mean that you're upset or sad or too happy.
but....
thankyou



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10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

I hate the way you talk to me,
 and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots,
 and the way you read my mind.
 I hate you so much it makes me sick;
 it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it,
 I hate the way you're always right.
 I hate it when you lie.
 I hate it when you make me laugh,
 even worse when you make me cry.
 I hate it when you're not around,
 and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
 Not even close,
 not even a little bit,
 not even at all.


just fall in love with thIS BEAUTIFUL poem.
to ainur : I KNOW! XD
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Thursday, August 19, 2010

CONFUSED AND LOST.

hey there, loyal readers <3

its thursday. 19th of august 2010. and I AM LOST.

i dont knw what is wrong. last night, i stay up until 3, had my sahur and slept at 4. not to sound nerdy but, i was TRYING TO study. i really hope i could stand the pressure of my first ever test here, in UiTM.
err.
yes, i too, did not see anything confusing in that situation.
so, here is the confusing part.
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME!
i felt awkward. yes, even to myself. towards my studies. people around me. him. i feel like i am not myself, but this is the real me, you know what i mean? of course NO. because i dont even know what I meant. this awkward feeling, is just so confusing. VERY CONFUSING. *sigh*

being homesick is not a good thing too. feeling strong, at the same time, fragile, is another confusing thing. i know i can go through this. i know i can stand here alone, without my family, my bestfriends. well, almost everyone here experienced the same thing. but, as for me..... i laugh A LOT! having a total great time, in class, in hostel, with all the lecturers and friends. but when i felt close to home, especially with the smell of my bedsheet and my bearbear, my desire to be at home is just too much.

but dont worry, i'm not gonna break down and cry for home -_-"
jee, im much stronger than that.

...
and i'm lost.
sometimes too much to think about.
sometimes lost in a crowd.
sometimes just lost somewhere, somehow...


please bring me back into reality.
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Monday, August 16, 2010

all time favourite

kiss me
out of the bearded barley
nightly
beside the greengreen grass
swingswing
swing the spinning steps
you wear those shoes
and i will wear that dress
ohh
kiss me
beneath the milky twillight
lead me
upon the moonlit floor
lift your open hand
strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so, kiss me

kiss me
down by the broken tree house
swing me
upon its hanging tire
bringbring
bring your flowered hat
we'll take the trail marked on your father's map
ohh, kiss me
beneath the miliky twillight
lead me
upon the moonlit floor
lift your open hand
strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so, kiss me
lalala
lalala

ohh, kiss me
beneath the milky twilight
lead me
upon the moonlit floor
lift your open hand
strike up the band
make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so, kiss me

now, kiss me..
lalala
lalala

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hahahaha.

hellohello ^^ goodmorning, loyal readers :)
there's not much to type on today.
but i still wanna post something. ^^

lets talk about the past, shall we?

i have experiences that *haha* SE-TUH-PID.
no joke.
sometimes, when i turn back behind, i dont know why, but,
I FEEL EXTRA STUPID.
you know that feeling?
-__-"

well, it is somehow embarassing, but then, it is an experience that tought me to grow up.
i still remember back then, when i was overshadowed by you,
seeking for happiness in such sorrow, i have actually learn to hate.
funny, huh?
because the person now is my bestfriend.

and so for you...
well, i was lost,
i was devastated,
i was saviourly broken,
but those days has gone, you know.
i somehow, woke up from the bad dream and live a perfectly FINE normal life.

you still remember how you got me feel?
well, yes.
i will NEVER forget till the day i die.
NEVER.
:)



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presenting...

the DMC1kauingatkauDIVA?
















TOGETHER FOREVER.
DMC1D
:)

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

DEVASTATING.

i found out that my smiles recently are not that pretty anymore. is that possible? is that even normal? it is not that i am trying to fake it, but i really love to smile. i guess i have lost my smiling skill. *sigh*anybody can return my smile? -_-"

i have a major headache right now. not sure because of what. skipped CTU class this morning, 1st, because of my heavy head, 2nd because my friends left me alone, because i was several minutes late. so, i'm kinda frustrated because i missed CTU class last week too, because i went back to pJ.

i dont know what is up with me lately. i laugh a lot, but still feeling lonely and devastated.

HATETHATDAMNFEELING!!
imissyou, ma :(
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

saya rindu ma :')

i miss watching our favourite movie together,
and i will put my head on her lap,
and she will be caressing my hair.

i miss cooking with her,
and at the time, we will be gossiping,
talking about the things that could make us laugh.
talking about things that only both of us know and understand.

i miss fighting with her,
over the little things,
sometimes on who is more goodlooking, Mr.EdwardCullen or Mr.JacobBlack.
sometimes about colours.
sometimes about song lyrics.

i miss sneaking in her room at night,
and sleep beside her.
just to feel her warmth,
and missing her hugs.

i miss talking to her.
just about anything
since now, i hate talking to the phone, due to the horrible line connection in melaka,
i misses her more.

no offence eh, everyone,
but now, i SERIOUSLY misses her.
especially when i cant do what we ALWAYS use to do at the first of puase.
i am growing up.
i have to make her proud.
ma,
whatever i do,
i'll do it for you.

iloveyousomuch...
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its RAMADHAN :)

Salam Ramadhan, Beautiful People :)

well, it is my first Ramadhan without my
lovely mother
hilarious father
and
heart-cheerer brothers.
imissyouguys.
:')

well, as to you, ma.
kaklang sangat menyayangi ma. :)
terkilan jugak first sahur kaklang tak dapat nak makan masakan ma.
adoii.
but i know i have to get use to it.
:D
kaklang okay je.
PROMISE.
besides missing you too much,
i'm okay.
iloveyoutooABAH.
you know that.
always and forever.
selamat berpuase, eh.
JANGAN LUPA RINDU SAYA JUGA.
:)


experienceexperience.
sometimes you are just so ..............
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Saturday, August 7, 2010

i understand :)

this is a story from my fren.
this post is for her,
how i understand what she is going through.

"when you held my hand for the first time, i felt the warmth of your love. i know that it is real. i know that you love me too, even you did not say a word. i want to say it but i couldn't. but then, i think you know that i have fallen in love with you. the days gone perfectly well.me and you, perfect couple, dont you think? but it never enough. you always wanted more. i am not the perfect girl for you. you want her. she who have everything that i have to live without. i thought i can go through it because you are not the first, and so i thought that you are not definitely going to be the last. and so, when i go through my life, i met others, but i couldn't understand why i couldn't find anyone like you, or anyone better than you. after a while, we met again. you have changed alot. so much. you no more with the girl you left me for. there was a lot more after me, after her. i was surprised because i couldn't be with anyone else after you. but you have a lot more than i could ever expected. you want to guess the one thing that i did not understand? you have change a lot, you have even forgotten me, and held a lot of other hands besides mine, BUT when you held my hand again that day, i can still feel the warmth, i can still feel the extraordinaire feelings. i can still feel the presence of the old you. and there, i realized, ILOVEYOU, and i cant seem to find any other. knowing that you have her, doesn't seem to kill the feeling. the feeling still alive, honey. after all of these years. if you can find anyone that could love you any better than that, send my regards to her."

she said to me,
"just imagine if you are in my shoes"
i replied,
"i wish. i wish i am in ur shoes. i wish i could love like that."
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dreamalittledreamofme

okay. i am not actually myself right now. so, please pardon my "nonsensibility". saya berada di hadapan lappy pada pagi ini adalah untuk mengarut. jadi, ini adalah post blog saya yang patut dihiraukan dan tak perlulah diambil berat sangat. i just want to shout to YOU. DUDE!! I MISS YOUUU LAAA!!! serious, i rindu you sangat. i wanna text, i'm afraid you wont reply. i want to call, i'm afraid you might be busy. go la online, and see my status and reply my status and text me. and. and. and. but, wth, you didn't know i was talking about you. hahaha. i will keep it to my self until the time come. but i know you'd miss me too. ;) let me tell you a little something about him. he is someone that could make me smile. can make me laugh. can make me feel appreciated. he concern about me, about what i'm going through. he can make me smile just by thinking of him. he is someone that could make me feel better when i'm in major breakdown. always there when i was in tears. always there to borrow me a shoulder to cry. always there to listen, always there to cheer me up. you might not realize this, but yes, its you i'm talking about. uts you that i waited to appear in my chatlist and notifications. its you.i promise. . imy. imy imy. imysfdm. yes. its you.
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Friday, August 6, 2010

mood : not in the mood.


wanna know my ACTUAL everyday routine?
well,
i slept at nearly or around 4am almost everyday.
often skip lunch or dinner.
feel extra tired with the extra walking and extra work everytime.
now i have to run and catch up my studies when i realize that 
THIS IS NOT SCHOOL WHEN YOU HAVE THE FREAKING WHOLE YEAR!!
i only have 6months to learn and revise everything before my final exam which is soverymch important.
  ...
i think i might fall sick in a few days.
plus, my flu keep on come and go and wont let me go.
my mom is going to kill me when she know that i skipped my meal.
she is going to gimme a perfect, long lecture when she REALIZE that i'm sick and she knows i wont swallow those pills.

so, i need to jog tomorrow.
i better do so before the fever get on me.
then,
i'll be okay :)

oh.
andthisisalsomaybebecauseimissesyoutoomuch.
<3
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

thinking of you


i dont know why.
just suddenly i thought of you.
i hope you're okay.
i'm still wondering about your condition.
it's not being hipocrite.
but i still feel a little guilty.
and i know i wont get over it.
there will be one fine day when i will apologise to you.
perhaps since then, we will be friends.
FOREVER.
perhaps, you already growing up, be more mature.
perhaps you have found a perfect girl.
that loves you more than anything in the world.
and perhaps,
you will love her.
more than you use to love me.
dont tryna deny it.
i hope you will understand. 
if you know me well enough,
you know i'd be thinking of you right now.
you know i'd feel guilty.
that is just if you know me well enough.
take care :)

best regards,
su.
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Monday, August 2, 2010

have i lost my ability to type a long post?

i use to have all the long posts kan?
sekarang dah tade.
perasan tak sume post macam pendekpendek je?
:P

nak cakap sal ape eh?
oh, yesyes.
masscomm induction.
TERBAIK SEYH!!
hahaha.
walaupun pada mulanya tak berapa nak best sebab Si Ketiak Menangis nak lead cheer and menyuruh kami menjadi segedik dia, tapi it all turns out to be ok after that.
the activities are serious fun.
its worth it to stand under the the hot sun just to experiance a SERIOUS fun like that. :)
the letcurers are there too, doing the EXTRAORDINARE tepuk masscomm and tabik masscomm.
HAHAHAHA.
that was hillarious XD
memang gile sempoii. :)
and the seniors...
they are THE BEST SENIORS YOU COULD EVER ASK FOR.
no joke.
sangat best dan mereka sangat sempoi.
but then, i tak nampak him.
the one who got my attention since MDS.
i'm sure induction will be more FUUUUNN with him around.
but, wth, maybe he's busy watching KUCHKUCH HOTA HAI kat rumah.
hahaha,
tapetape.
anyways,
walaupun kami sangat nakal, sangat mencapub dan sangat tak mendengar kate.
tapi mereka tetap sabar and together laugh about it because they know they use to do that too. :D
YOU GUYS ROCKS! XD


and talking about my CLASSMATES.
my AWESOME CLASSMATES.
we are a family.
choral speaking was a disaster.
skecth was a fine last minute preparation.
but then, we go through it together and laugh about it together.
i have the most happening class,
where we treat everyone as friends, as family.
everyone is equal, eveyone is everyone.
we go through happy moments with a lot of laughter, a lot of joy.
and we go through the sorrow moments together too, together we feel the tense, together we put our heads down.
i'm still glad that i have them as classmates :)

then, i shud talk about my TUN PUTERI block.
yes, my college's name is TUN PUTERI.
comel, yes?
haha.
tengok orang laa. XD
bytheway, well yes, i'm glad i'm a TUN PUTERIs too.
which i thik have the prettiest name.
i have pretty seniors who are so cool too.
i was forced to join the cheerleaders but it was fun!
SERIOUS FUN!
XD
TUN PUTERI ROCK THE PADANG KAWAD THAT NITE, YES?
we dance to the song thrilller, imma be and wakawaka.
but they cut off the song wakawaka because perhpas, they think its too sexy :P


and for you, yang sibuk sangat nak i buat a post for you, now here it is,
a special thanxie to en. KHAIRI ABDULLAH,
sebab sudi melayan kerenah saya yang ntah apeape ni. :P
the one that dont mind texting me and remember my schedule.
kalau i ade kelas pagi nanti, boleh ah tolong kejutkan, eh? haha.
jokingjoking.
oh oh.
yang [aling lawak mase you call i pukul 2 pagi tu.
SERIOUSLY, I DONT KNOW WHY I PICK UP THE PHONE,
I DONT KNOW WHAT I SAID,
AND I DONT KNOW WHO I TALK TO.
i just remembered that someone called and i pick up the phone.
hahaha.
serious, lawak.
thaniah la sebab anda sudah berjaya mendengar saya mengigau.
XD
eh, thanks tau.
thanks for still stick around and be my fren after all this while :)
we've been through a lot and i could swear to you now that the past has remain as pasts.
there's nothing you shud worry about.
anyways,
you are still my bestGUYfriend, okaay? XD


aaand so for YOU.
istillmissingyou. :)
imisstalkingcrapwithyou.
imissyourstupidlittlejokes.
imissyourCOMELlaugh.
imysm.
:)


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