f December 2010 ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Friday, December 31, 2010


hey. lets go through some highlights on whatever happen in 2010.

this was painful -.- LIKE SERIOUSLY. hahaha. totally nothing to do and i eventually become SE-TUH-PID and dumb and just everything that i dont expect myself to be. i still feel so stupid. especially after witnessing what happen now. haha. its okay. i'll take that as a growing up process. ANYWAYS. it was the end of highschool and we all get so excited about it. well, of course then, we will be missing highschool. we have schoolmates that have been missing school days. i was one of them. i do still miss school days. but i dont want to go back there. I WANT TO MOVE ON :)

hah. dramadrama. im not so smart, so there is nothing to be proud of. but i am proud of some friends of mine. who yes, get better result than me. and the one that achieve good too. it was full with drama. but yes, still, the highlight of the year. :)

my first workplace. :) this is where i have this bunch of cute looking human beings calling me teacher. and i do stuff like marking worksheets and teaching maths to kids. it was an awesome experience. they dont pay me much, i know. but it was the experience and the time i have with them that are priceless. and the fact that i have been learning too. so Kumon is a great place. i never thought that i will eventually MERASA menjadi seorang cikgu. to actually have these smart learning kids calling me CIKGU and TEACHER. :) it was just so great. thanks for the experience :)

hah. THE DOUBLE HIGHLIGHTED EVENT OF THE YEAR. hhaha.another great thing right here. i was so nervous for this. i was afraid of something like bully or not fitting in or this bunch of people that might be thinking that they own the place or the seniors being so semester bias. so yea. eventually, i surrounded by a lot of beautiful people. amazing, actually. :) so then, uitm is great. the people, the place, the studies. well ofcourse some ups and downs here and there but hey, thats life kan? :) 

i dont like talking about this since forever. haha. i mean, its just mean that it is something not to share to people. but anyhow, im letting it out today. so yes, i was in a relationship with this guy i met in uitm. it started out well. great, actually. i was happy. like REALLY. but things change. he just, um, perhaps i just dont know him well enough. so, it turns out to be a mistake. he dont know anything about me too and dont bother trying. heh. i dont pretty much care about people that tend to do nothing more but to annoys me by doing stuff i hate.
deep inside, i know he is a great guy and he will find the right girl. i just cant be the one. anyhow, i know i will find the right one. i know someone out there that will eventually understands me when my words makes no sense at all, love my flaws, say things that i want to hear and appreciates me. we will find each other. its just a small world we have out there. :)

and for you, remember the question you have for me. when my answer was I DONT KNOW? i know now. the answer is NO. :) just to tell you so that you wont be regretting why you wasted your time on me later on. so i tell you now. i just dont want to be blame on anything else later on.

and so and so and so.
 its like almost 10 more minutes to midnight. 
i still have so much more to say tho.
maybe i will come out with some other posts later on.
for now, this is it.
this is me and some things i have been through throughout this year. 
whatever happens in life is a lesson how to grow up.
life is a good teacher, its how the students learn from it make we in different paths.

what matters most is that i am still here.
still standing strong, still able to breathe in the air and 
still able to walk on this earth, 
still have my wonderful family and 
awesome friends. 
even things are not beautiful sometimes, but everything happens for a reason.
sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan menguji makhlukNya dengan sesuatu ujian yang tidak mampu ditanggung,

so, take one step at a time.
everything will be okay.

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cerita satu
angah sudah pun selamat ditunangkann. :) but there is another story behind it. rumah kami dimasuki pencuri pada pagi hari angah bertunang tu. along bawak saya dan adikadik keluar. pukul 2pagi baru balik. :D ma tido pukul 3, siapkan barang hantaran. angah tido pukul 4. we woke up around 6, and bila along bangun, dia tibatiba kehilangan barangbarang diaa. mulamula nak cari around the house. tengoktengok, dekat dapur memang ade kesan orang masuk. dia masuk ikut tingkap. -.- tapi die tak masuk bilik, maybe just grab any random things he saw. nasib baik laptop saya selamat. NASIB BAIK SEMUA ORANG SELAMAT. alhamdulillah :)

cerita dua
i'll keep this as a secret dulu. ;)

cerita tiga
what happen laa. no persefahaman is itt?
no laaa. nothing much. he just sort of took me for granted. whateverla, shit happens. 
aww. if it was me, i would've done a better job kannn? eh, i can masuk or not? HAHA.
eleh. reply my texts pun malas. go kacau other ppl's lines laaa. :P
no. its because you had a boyfriend. i was heartbroken by that fact. 

cerita empat
we went to times square, do a bit of shopping, a bit of photo catching and ALOT of going gaga togethaaa. :D
it was a SUPERAWESOME dayyy. 
since i missed laughed so hard like an idiot like that.
and i miss you awesome people.
we shall do that again. :D

cerita lima
aaahhh. sunway was fun and stupid. this one is too long to talk about but still, it was the highlight of the week :D
i met a pretty looking human being. 
that is all i can say for now. PRETTY. HUMAN. BEING.

cerita enam
masa untuk being stupid sudah tamat. 
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Monday, December 27, 2010

27th Disember 2010

abang saya,
dan buah hati jantung pangeran die yang sengal :P
sudah selamat ditunangkan :)
alhamdulillah. semuanya berjalan lancar.

i am happy if you are, dearest brother. :)

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sick of you.


you are not proving anything pun.

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

life sometimes just .........

its funny how we tend to love someone that hate us.
its funny how we be happy when everyone else is not.
its funny how something just ruined the PROBABLY best moment of your life.
its funny how sometimes we tend to believe some strangers better than anyone else.
its funny how we tend to sing a song that reminds us of that person we trying to forget.
its funny how we have wonderful dreams in such awful time.
its funny how we get angry on something that is just not reasonable.
its funny how we trying to find some happiness in something that already make our lives miserable.
its just funny how when our lives is all about that one person, but that person's life is all about someone else.

lets laugh together. it is so freaking funny, dont you think?

its true that i am over everything.
its so freaking true, yes.
but i am just annoyed by this bunch of people that being so selfish, and everything just have to be about THEM.
hello people, i am a freaking human being with feelings too.
doesn't my feeling matters?

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kenape eh?

kenapa saya rasa macam saya tak suka awak?

look, i have stopped living in a fairytale. 
maybe you should too.
it make me sick.
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010



i hate it when some people think that they can buy me with those cheap words.
eff off, you got the wrong girl.
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Monday, December 20, 2010

oh, another perfect dayy :)

:D :D

so, the day started out with angah and abah who suppose to go back to Pahang and fetch my grandma, for angah's engagement thingy.
and i was sleeping at nearly 10am that morning when along sortof woke me up and goes;

"kaklang, cakap dengan abah, kau nak ikut g balik kampung, along boleh bawakkan,"
firstly, dont ask why am i still asleep at 10am and
but i know why.
and im not telling you.
so, i shouted from my room, and goes,
and abah cakap,
then, i looked at along and say,
"kan, dah settle. -.-"

so yea.
 dua kereta kot buat rombongan ke rumah makcik untuk menjemput nenek.
sangat gempaks.
so, it was fun.
because it have been a while since we all balik kampung together.
along and angah selalu je tertinggal :/
so, yesterday was awesomee.
we have BIG dinner together and we talk about whats happening in life.
eventhough im still not so glad that my brother is like getting engage in this very short moment,
but atleast.
i dont know what the least thiing is. HAHA.
i hope she wont be reading this or else she will be knocking my head, or pull my hair.
she like to do that, tho. -.-

so, if you saw in fb, i already uploaded some of me and my lilbro's faces when we was cam-whoring in the car. haha.
so, i just gonna upload some here. :)
it was an absolutely awesome day.

that's abang. malumalu. HAHA

THE DRIVER. <3 along :) 

and alot of me and adikk. HAHA. we are cam freaks. weeee~~

along punya babyskeleton pun jadi mangsa. muahahahaha. :D

dah la, tak larat nak upload sume. there are about 100+ pics of me and him hahaha. 
all on my facebook, if you want to see it all. haha. 
me looking ugly puun adee. i know im not so good looking, but then tak yah nak harsh sangat la eh. 

have a good day, fellas :)
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Saturday, December 18, 2010

everybody's looking for that something...

*haha. tajuk pun dah macam lagu westlife pulak kaaaann? :P

motif blogpost kali ni?
takde motif.
sekarang sedang mendengar lagu westlife, lame tak dengar. RINDU SIOTT.
i have been through a relieving stage.
and i never felt happier. :)

did i mention that next week will be my LAST WEEK with the Kumonians?
i didn't even see that coming.
i feel like it was just several days ago i started Kumon.
you know, i never felt more satisfied than getting to teach these kids.
biasalah, dulu kan berangan nak jadi cikguuu.

and so. and so.
omg, these westlife guys are soooo cute. HAHA.
tapi sekarang sume dah tua. muka kedutkedut je.
hee. macam la kita ni nanti stay 18 je kaannn.
tak reti nak tuatua
and one more thing.
2011 is just around the corner.
that just mean its already been a year i left school.
and the next 26thAugust, i'll be at my last stage to be called a TEENAGER.
cepat gile masa berlalu kan?
then, when it comes to 20, i'll be finishing my diploma. and then, we go catch for degree.
and things started to be more difficult and i have to be able to stand on my own feet.

sometimes, thinking about future really does hurt my head, tho.
what will happen?
how will i handle it?
can i get through it?
do i get through it well?
kan, sakit tak kepala fikir sume tu?
sakit tak? sakit tak?
you better say YES. haha!

but then, i've been watching 3 idiots. and this guy named
Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad says that
if you're afraid of the future, how will you even cherish the present?
okay. i dont even know if i get that right.
so anyways, its easy to say that.
lets just forget to future for a while.
things will fall in place.
we just try to hit our best now.
things come and go.
and so, when you have something, never be too happy.
and when you lost it, let it be free.
it just meant that it is not for you, you worth for something better.

have faith in self.
like i heard one wise quotes once saying;

nobody worth your tears.
the one who do, will never make you cry.

have a nice day, loyal readers. :)
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Thursday, December 16, 2010

ThankYou Allah :)

today is a very good day until i feel like i'm about to cry.
simply the best day of my life.
alhamdulillah. :')

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ooooh. yes!

omg, it feels real good.
it feels real fcking good when you know that it is no longer there.
even when i triggers it again, HELL YEA, it is not there anymore.
and this time is for real.
i know.
I KNOW that it is all already gone.
i never felt this good about you all this while.
now, it all makes perfect sense again :)

now, im thanking God for letting me grow up.
Alhamdulillah :)

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

jom berbahasa melayu. :D :D

saje je nak gedik sekali sekala. 
sekarang tengah tunggu ma mandi and bersiap, sebab aku nak ikut die g MidValley.
ade mesyuarat penting dengan eyri,
just nak jumpa dia laa.
penat die menapak turun KL, nak jumpa ngan aku kannn. hahahha
TEEETTTTTT! *lagi sekali.
dia kat KL sebab dia nak tengok battle of the band tu la.
alangalang tu, boleh la hang out jap :)
ma tak mandi lagi. sekarang dah pukul 9:26.
ma selalu menghalang aku daripada being punctual tau tak. -.-
haritu menjadi penyebab aku lambat ke Kumon. -.-
tapi tape, masih menyayangi die sepenuh hati. :D :D
anyways, masih tak pasti ape nak buat whole day dengan mamat tu -.-
whatever la. i'll think of something later

semalam Kumon tersangat lah best.
dont ask why. LOL.
because its just what it is when it comes to Kumon :D :D
and i am not over reacting, im just in love with Kumon :)
i love teaching those small kids that are super smart.
just imagine, i have a kindergarten student that is doing darab.
eh, tercakap english pulak. minta maaf ye :P

and i met someone :D
i dont mean "MET" but, whateverla.
i never met someone that i so like talking with.
maksud saya, the strangers la.
mostly because they always like to start a conversation with;
"hye, buat ape?"
"nama ape?"
"tinggal katne?"
i mean, i know la its common but it bores me la.
not to say i didn't do it. LOL.
memang la aku pun kadangkadang macam nak tanye benda yang sama kan?
i mean, at least make the conversation tu ade sebab.
tak yah la nak straight forward cakap yang
"hey, aku nak kenal dengan kau"
er. i bet nobody understands what am i saying. haha.
its okay la. im getting used to not having people understanding me.:P

its 9:46am and ma baru habis mandi.
rasanya eyri dah nak sampai mid -.-
okay. die baru msg. die dah sampai -.-
fine la, nak g bersiap. later bloggie :)

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Sunday, December 12, 2010


okay. entry kali ini agak sengal
dia mengajar saya bermain game QWOP.
game yang sengal tetapi menarik :D :D
like i said to her, game yang terbaik untuk lepaskan geram at someone.
macam game release stress kat lappy nasha.
try la try la.
ni link nyer :)
i just made high score.
i cabar you lawan.

*ignore the "athlete yang patah tangan and kaki kat bawah tu. -.-"

nak tips?
play la with button Q,W,O and P.
hahaha. :D
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Saturday, December 11, 2010

everyone is talking about it.

so, i would want to write about it too.
is frustrating.
okay. i'm not ready to talk about it. 

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Friday, December 10, 2010

oh, and for you...

thankyou for being so heartless.
thankyou for making me feel so stupid. 
its true what people say;
in order to pursuit your own happiness, you wouldn't care about others that might get offended.


eff it.
you are not much different from them.
thankyou, again.
i have ECSTATICALLY love the feeling of being the Very Unimportant Person.
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spoken like a .... shahrukhan. *maybe

me, him

*making fun of everything + alot of stupid jokes*
you ni tak pernah aje nak cakap betulbetul kan? adoii. 
seriously, when la you going to be serious?
dont worry la makcik, when i'm in love, i'd be serious. 
okay. thats a good one.
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Thursday, December 9, 2010

hey there, AWESOME girl. :)

i remember when i was so into him.
YOU were the first to know about the pretty little things.

i remember when i was so pushed down by him.
it is still you that the very best word to bring me up again.

i remember when i was feeling so happy with my life,
i miss having OUR time together and laugh over stupid little things.

i remember when we share our dirty little secret together,
you have no idea how lucky i felt to have met such awesome friend like you.

minah. SERIOUS aku rindu kau doe. -.-
i feel bad about what i have done, okay. but i thought we were okay with it already.
fine la, aku emo sikit. and aku promise i will tell everything about it when we meet.
i feel better that way.
kau jugak yang suggest aku cerita kat kau bila kita jumpa kan?
at least nanti kalau aku nangis, that time, i will have you with me. :)

minah minah.
i feel bad la knowing you are not okay.
jangan la cenggini.
pointer kau okay kan, you are doing well in studies.
on the other hand, i think i might repeat a subject,
but, whatever it is...
you've done a great job, there. 
you said you hate it, you said you did bad,

stop looking down on yourself and start being you again.
the awesome you yang always like to talk something that sounds so weird but make PERFECT sense,
the girl that i always get busted with when stalking someone. :P
the girl that can make me laugh sampai pecah perut. :D
damn it, I MISS YOU.

i am sorry i am not good with words and couldn't find the perfect word to make you feel better,
just like you always have done to me. :)
but i want you to know that i care.
i am still here.
and i am missing us just how you have been missing SUBANO.

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

moving on.

Sometimes I just listen to the music in my head.
Sometimes I want to sing,
and other times I want to scream.
I can't always hide behind the smile,
I got to go crazy for a while,
because it's not always what it seems.
Sometimes I feel like I might cry,
sometimes I feel so numb.

I can't even move, can't find a way to groove

and the words just won't come.
So tell me what you want from me.
Because I can't seem to tell.

I keep trying to please you,
but you put me through hell.

I am so done with this but you have to know that I tried.
Nothing was ever good,

it didn't go the way it should.

I will no longer live this lie.

i just wanna be happy :)
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Monday, December 6, 2010


sakit la wehh...

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

lets smile out of everything. :)

you know something.
like seriously.
i played with fancy words and use poems to express my emotions,
to tell them stories that are unwritten in those novels.
which then, i wrote novel too.
and i have finished a story.
i have, really.
i can give you read it right away. 
the feeling you have when you write is simply a-ma-zing.
it does.
and that is why i dont look down on people that like to read poems, or even write them and like them.
i dont categorized them as JIWANG or you know, stuff like them.
because i know it is some kind of crazy passion.
something that you cannot get away with.
something that have stuck inside you and the only way to let it go is through fancy words that you have in you.
there you go,
terhasil lah karya "JIWANG" yang ntah apeape, kan? :P

but then all of these things are old stories la.
i have eventually stop writing fancy words.
it have no more live within me.
i have tried to start writing again but it doesn't work anymore.
it have left me.
i have no more of it.
i am no longer capable of writing pretty words and i have no idea if i can get it back.
because i really want to.
i miss writing.
i really do. :)
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Thursday, December 2, 2010

already gone.

because when i walk away and you dont even have the intention to stop me,
i will keep on walking and never look back anymore.

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