f June 2014 ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Beginning


It was more than a year ago, I remember how I was so lost trying to find my ways through the new town. I remember of the lonesome feeling, cruising away with alternative transport and my own pair of feet to study the new road and new people. I remember how I walk alone by the roadside wondering if there's anyone out there will ever notice me. I remember how I cried on the train because I fell asleep and missed my stop and how my leg was aching from the long, long walk.

I still remember more than a year ago, when I first saw you. I still remember how your face was so familiar, like in one of those dreams I had. When we finally become friends, I can't help myself from thinking how do you feel about me. If you like to talk to me as how I love to talk to you. If you find me attractive and charming as how I always thought of you.

To have to know you at all is a blessing. You showed me the right path. You, of all people have showed me how strong I am, how strong I have been. You have been with me all through the ups and downs and you walk me through it. And then I realize that I never had to walk alone any more.

There was a couple of times when I caught myself smiling by myself thinking about how my life has changed because of you. How silly I was for questioning the meaning of love, when now I am screaming in my head that I love you.

I love you.

We hardly gotten the hang of selfies. We never learned how to colour co-ordinate our clothes on a regular basis. We don’t have a “couple name”. We don’t always finish each other’s sentences and sometimes we have NO idea what the other is thinking. We don’t write on each other’s walls. We never post pics of entwined fingers or feet in Instagram-worthy humblebrags of our escapades and expeditions.

But

I know that in every email and every Whatsapp message he sends there will be an “I love you.”
I know he thinks I’m beautiful because whenever he looks at me, his eyes still melt into that liquid love look they wore from the very beginning of us . In his eyes are the secrets for every unwanted pound, and skin or hair issue. They say: what issue? You look perfect to me. And I like that.
He knows I love him, because I never stop telling him.
He knows I think he’s gorgeous, and that my heart still skips when I see him.
He sees me blush, still, when he winks at me from across a room.
He knows I believe in him to the degree that won’t ever let him get comfortable with where he’s at because there’s so much more ahead.
He knows I respect him, because I won’t roll my eyes, snark or ‘passive-aggressive’ my way through the real issues that must arise in any relationship. I won’t talk badly about him to my family or friends. 
We know how to argue productively, so that we never doubt the worth of each to the other, the weight of one issue over another, the strength of one passion against the other.
We know how to apologize.
We know how to laugh. At ourselves, at each other, with the overwhelming joy of our lives, and even through the crushing blows.
We know how to pray.
We know there’s nothing one could need that the other wouldn’t go to the ends of the world to provide.
We choose time and time again to forgive. To forget. To laugh. To forgive. To trust.
My heart is in a safe space when it’s in his hands.
His heart has no fear from mine.

This is for the first 365days we had together, baby. 
This is also for more years to come.




p/s : remember the time when we first fall for each other? I could never imagine myself with anyone else ever since.
p/p/s: √Ä toi, pour toujours means "forever yours" don't go and google translate it. -.- noying. 
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