f June 2010 ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Friday, June 25, 2010

the start of a new journey :)


when something ends,
its always means a start of something.
:)

well, i am starting my university life.
believe it or not, i am going to be a uni student.
it feels like just yesterday my brothers could settle me down just by buying me ice-cream.
now,
even my lil brothers had stopped watching ben10.
haha.
time flies without we even noticing.

so, i am now a 17yo girl, well, ofcourse, going to be 18.
wow.
i have been tru ups and downs.
shits and pretty flowers.
darkness and shines.
and yet, i could still stand here.
alone.
still strong :)


heyhey.
i dunno if u've been reading my bloggie or not.
but imma tell you this,
i really think that a guy that actually cried over a girl is very sweet and comel. :p
i couldn't tell u, sebab nanti u perasan XD
anyways,
it doesn't matter if the girl deserve the tears or not. 
if she's a bitch or just pms-ing.
but 
i'm proud of you.
for some freaking reason, i do.
she must be very special that u'd never wanna give up after all those shits.
glad to call u my fren.
if i could share the pain, i would take it away.
i would.
u know i'd do anything to make my awesome frens happy.
:)
smile, 
as i said,
happy looks good on you :)


now that i'd be away.
oh, yes, i so gonna miss you.
gonna miss EVERYTHING that i'll leave behind.
but i'll come back.
perhaps with longer hair,
less bony,
prettier smile :)
aaand... :)
God willing.
there will be one fine day,
when we shall meet again.
for now?
HELLO UITM!! xD
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

I'LL MISS YOU :')



my last day not so much like a last day.
since not very much of them know that i'm leaving.
but i'm sad.
STILL very sad.
anyways, lets talk about the students dulu, ayte?

NATASHA SIVAKUMAR.
aah. smart girl.
she is a standardsix girl, doing form3 level maths.
study SK Assunta (2),
and she is actually the Penolong Ketua Pengawas.
:)
easy to talk with.
crazy sometimes.
stubborn too.
always fight with me that she got the right answer eventhough it is CLEARLY wrong.
feel kinda bad that i didn't tell her that i'm leaving.
i couldn't.
plus, she didn't sit at my table last tuesday.
so, i couldn't talk to her.


ABDUL FARHAN
hurm.
this guy is a form2 student, STILL doing reducing fractions.
oh, sekarang dah buat adding fractions.
but either which, he still doing a standardsix stuff.
but he's getting better.
eventhough he too, always blame me when he got the answers wrong.
but, i'm still glad that he is SLIGHTLY improving ^^
brava, farhan.
I NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU. :)


S. TRISHA.
and she is the MOST cutest girl i've ever met!
comel gile, serious.
like to disturb me also, especially when she didn't sit with me.
she'll came around and poke me,
and talk to me about her birthday,
new bracelet.
and you know, stuff like that.
aah, gonna miss her. :')


NESHAWN.
Natasha's brother.
always jealous when the sister get more attention than him.
lol.
dont blame me.
I'M NOT BIASE.


PUTERI ALLIANA.
another advance students.
smart and very neat girl.
the worksheets from her is worksheets that i love to mark.
her work is very neat :)
aaand
she got really long hair.
i wanted hair as long as hers.
ayte ayte.
think i got picture of her.

tapi tak nampak sangat the hair. :p


then i have the three brothers;
ZAHIRUL, AMIRUL, and ZAKHWAN.
the eldest is ZAKHWAN.
very soft-spoken.
spoke like a girl.
but very good looking.
and sometimes he make some joke that i couldn't understand,
and then, he blushed away.
AMIRUL
is the second eldest one.
he is smart, too.
he is now doing same level with the brother.
but one thing about him,
when he asked me something and i said its correct, he'll go,
'see, I'M SO SMART'
o.O
ZAHIRUL.
is the cutest.
the youngest. :)
he is a silver medalist too,
just as smart as Amirul. :)

next siblings are the HO's family.
LISA HO, SARAH HO and ERIC HO.
a bunch of smart people too.
:)

and then i have
ANGELISSA
AMMAR
AIMAN
TAMIL ARASI
NISHALINY
CARRIE
JIUN YANG
SHAO WEI
FIKRI
AIN
DANIEL (hidung mancung, says Liza)
ANEESSA
SATISH RAJ
SATISH KUMAR
DANNY GOH
JACK LIM
JEREMIAH
PRISCILLA
HARVIN
SAPNAH
DAARVIN
TRIVYA DEVA
GHANA
urgh, of course i cant name it all.

oh oh.
how can i forgot,
NAGA RAJ :)
he is not much of my student laa.
more to my friend.
good friend, now :)
plus, i couldn't help him with the add maths sheets.
BECAUSE THAT IS THE FREAKING FIRST THING I THREW AWAY RIGHT AFTER SPM IS OVER.
you wouldn't wanna imagine how i struggle for add maths.
-__-"
so yea.
i shud brush up my brain -__-"
him and her sister ah?
PEVITARJIT KAUR.
aah, naughtynaughty girl.
sape la punye influence. haih.

well, i am soo gonna miss ALL OF YOU.
but wth, i am coming back :)

so, I'LL MISS YOUUU :)






PRISCILLA and JEREMIAH




all wearing my favourite colour, celebrating my goingaway. XD




peek hours, when my table is full.
(blue: ZAHIRUL, white: JACK LIM, orange:SHOBITAN, brown: TAMIL, red: NESHAWN, yellow: SYAHRUL AMIN)



never thought that my first job will take a big part of my life.
well, ofcourse,
i never thought that i'm gonna fall in love with the kids.
i never thought that one of my colleague would cry as i'm saying goodbye.
i never thought that... just... NEVER.
:')
I WOULD DEFINITELY COME BACK. :)
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

PRETENDING


is what i left with to do for now.
if anyone asks me about it,
I'D LIE.
yes, its for me, you and EVERBODY'S sake.
i shall hide the truth somewhere within me.
i shall smile away,
close my eyes,
feel my heartbeat,
and tell myself that;
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT :)
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oh, darling, THAT IS KARMA!



saya post dalam bm la, mane la tu kalau awak tak berapa nak faham kan?
ye, malam yang awak telefon saya tu,
saya keluar dengan die,
dan, yes, die keluar dengan orang lain.
mungkin die tak la secantik awak, 
tapi budi bahasa die DEFINITELY jauh lebih cantik dari awak
...


eh, dengar sini eh.
aku bukan tak suka kau,
its just that aku tak suka ape yang kau buat kat die dulu.
bukan sebab aku rapat dengan die.
tapi sebab aku tak suka cara kau.
sukasuka kau nak makimaki orang macam tu, and then feel proud of it.
PURE STUPIDITY.
oh, need translation?
KEBODOHAN SEMULAJADI.

dulu memang sedap ah kau maki orang sebab u're winning the bloody game kan?
sekarang when the new war started with a different opponent and alot more of your stupidity and secrets revealed,
YOU ARE LOSING, DARLING.


i love him.
i've been with him for the rest of my life.
DONT YOU DARE THINK THAT YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN ME.
DONT YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT YOU CAN GIVE HIM MORE LOVE THAN I HAVE GIVEN.
he might ONCE be yours.
but he is forever mine.
MY BROTHER.
and i could do anything if you hurt him.
i could even hurt you.
you think i'm a young naive stupid girl that wud just listen to you like a bloody dog when you feed me with some bony or bacon?
well, YOU ARE WRONG.
you wanna mess with me?
think twice,
you're about to mess with the wrong girl.
and i wont use much to put you down.
just a little sarcasm right in front of your face would shut you mouth already. 

kau ingat aku takut dengan makimaki kau?
-_-"
kalau kau rase dengan memaki orang tu buat kau bahagia,
I DONT GIVE A DAMN!

so, darling,
HOW DOES IT FEELS WHEN KARMA HITS YOU RIGHT ON YOUR FACE?
lain kali, bila nak buat or cakap something, fikirkan orang lain yang berperasaan jugak, ok?
sekarang bila dah kene batang hidung sendiri, baru nak pertikaikan tentang 'PERASAAN'
tsk.
if you know how much i hated you.
you dont deserve him.
i assure that.
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last day in KUMON?



aah. i hope i can stop  the time till i'm ready to face it.
cant be too emo as the fact that i am coming back, but,
I'M STILL VERY SAD.
eventhough most of the students didn't know that i'm leaving 
but, wth?
i wud still feel down!!
will i?
i dont know.
seriously hope i could hold it back.
because i am definitely already in love with kumon :')
is that a good thing?
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Monday, June 21, 2010

DUDE, GROW UP, WILL YA?


okay, first of all, 
I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, OKAY?
never wanted to be,
and never ever going to be.
i hope i make that clear for you.

second,
DONT EXPECT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTANDS YOU ALONE.
do understand others too, okay?
its not that i ALWAYS say no when we hanging out.
its not that i ALWAYS avoiding hanging out with you.
told you, i'd be busy packing and stuff.
told you i am TIRED, have been going out for a week.
-_-"
a little understanding would be nice....!

third.
PERHAPS YOU SHUD STOP CALLING OTHERS 'BUDAKBUDAK' WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS A MAJOR GROWING UP!
-__-"
hatehate it when you do that.
HATE IT WHEN ANY OF MY GUYFRIENDS DO THAT!
especially you are like few years OLDER than me. -__-'
you are immature, and i know that you never going to change.

forth.
I LIKE YOU WAAY BETTER WHEN YOU TREATED ME AS A FREN.
when you talk to me that you like her.
when we were arguing over some stupid little things.
i hate our last outing, if you want me to be honest.
hate it, really.


fifth.
I HATE IT WHEN YOU TALKING BAD ABOUT MY BESTFRIEND RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.
yes, dude, I CARE!
because she is my BEST FRIENDS, for God forsaken right!
dont talk to me like you are the most handsome and perfect guy ever that your girls have to be flawless.
just, go look yourself in the mirror more often, will ya?



i'm pissed.
not gonna reply your msgs till i settle down.
till then, enjoy being immature.
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Sunday, June 20, 2010

listen to my heartbeat~


was excited.
now i'm sad.


no kidding.
:')
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Saturday, June 19, 2010

busy+tired=dead sleep


had an awesome day at kuantan.
go crazy with little kids.
arif, my unty's 1yo son is SUPER comel. XD
fatin is being a lot of me.
and other stuff.
bake moremore brownies.
cant  help it, my unty's favourite :)
a BIG one, yes, i have to double up the measurements -_-'
but i dont mind, since i love her and she have done a lot to me.

so, wanna do what i've been doing this week?

monday : major house cleaning, mom is coming back from johor after a week.
tuesday : KUMON day :D
wednesday : back to pahang.
thursday : came back from pahang.
friday : another KUMON day :)
saturday : OUT WITH MY BESTIES xD - SUPEREXCITED :)
sunday : dead on bed, hopefully XD

oh, btw, the brownies i bake for unty was heart shaped ;)
BIG ONE. -_-'
shall upload the pic soon :)
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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

i've been watching it over 10 times, and i couldn't stop crying T.T




amazing story, really. :)
plus, both shahrukh khan and saif looks extra comel.
and preety zinta is just so PRETTY :)


aah.
basically, I HATE THIS MOVIE for making me cry a lot.
and FOR MAKING SHAHRUKH MATI.
but the story is absolutely different.
not just a normal love story.



i dont know how to tell you a little something about the movie.
you just have to watch it yourself.


just a lil something of my favourite part. :)

you are hiding you grief
and i bow my head.
you are quiet.
i am silent.
who shall anyone reason with?
these distances
do us apart.
meeting again
might not be possible again
these distances
do us apart
meeting again
might be be possible again.

its true i have hurted you.
but i always wondered.
why does the heart grief?
why are the eyes moist?
that which was to happen is happening
lets forget about it.
for no trace of this
might remain tomorrow.
every moment here.
live to the fullest.
these are the moments.
for tomorrow might never be.
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

g***k? *sigh*


seriously, no joke.
i cant fit my slack, anymore.
i mean, can la, but, its not just as nice as it look on me anymore.
well, i ate snickers, almost EVERYDAY.
back from Kumon at abt 10.30, buat ape lagi, MAKAN LAA.
and one more thing,

oit, stop kembungkan your pipi when cathching a picture laa.
what?
tengok ni, adoii, decent picture pun comel.
WTH? i wasn't kembungkan my pipi! ITS MY NORMAL SMILE!
what?!! * laughed out loud. 


i hate it when i'm gainning a lil weight and it have to be obvious. 
so, i have to cut down on snickers.
and any other.
if you saw me with snickers, just grab that from me, ayte?
saya benarkan.
XD
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Monday, June 7, 2010

current situation?

i'm OFFICIALLY babysitting a girl, without i'm even knowing.

stuck with her yesterday and THE WHOLE FREAKING DAY, TODAY.

just that i had my name been called every TEN minutes,

i had HER came up to my room and check what i was doing.

couldn't sleep, because there will be SOMETHING that she have to have me to do.

couldn't go out because i have a SUPER ANNOYING 10yo KID in my house.

couldn't put on the music out loud like i usually do because, SHE IS WATCHING HER DVD.

couldn't watch anything on the tv because SHE WANTS TO WATCH DORA THE EXPLORER for THE WHOLE FREAKING DAAY!

i think she might murder my cat, especially after forcing my cat to eat stuff that SHE couldn't finish.

thinks that she could take care of my cat and lil brothers MORE THAN I COULD!

keep giving me advices as if i am that se-tuh-pid.


 so, what do you think?
awesome, yes?

well, i'm currently ALIVE.
just afraid that someone might not be ALIVE in 12hours to come. -_-"
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hey.



u captivated me :)


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i'm suffocating, really.


I REALLY THANK YOU GOD, 
FOR NOT GIVING ME ANY LIL SISTER!



*sigh*
i need help.
:(
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Thursday, June 3, 2010

because when they talk....


i'd listen.

and now,
ALL OF YOU,
no more be getting my respect.
because she oh, so good enough.
and ALL OF YOU should've been grateful instead of shitting about her around.



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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

HERstory :)

sometimes she threw something that she thinks is not important.
but she din realize she might need it for the time to come.

sometimes she said she didn't care.
but she cant escape the fact that she dont wanna miss a single details.

sometimes she wants the story to end,
but she was the one who dragged it all along.

sometimes she feels sorry,
but then she's tired of being sorry.

sometimes she want to stay out of everything,
but she dont want anymore mistakes out of stupidity .

sometimes she feel like she wanna cry,
but she's too happy to do so.

sometimes she's swore that it will never happen again,
but she's not aware about the possibilities.
sometimes she told herself that there is no fairytale,
but she's hoping for one, in silence.

sometimes she dances in the rain,
when she's sure that no one is watching.

sometimes she hums her favourite songs,
when she feels happy and free.

sometimes she gone crazy with friends,
because she have amazing friends that she could give up her life to.

sometimes she choose to sleep her teddy bear,
when she couldn't make up her mind on any other choises.
sometimes she said she dont need your attention,
but she's dying for it inside.
sometimes she appologize,
asking for a second chance.

sometimes she said she's alone
when she's with a person that loves her too much.

sometimes she feel happy,
when she saw you smiling away.

sometimes she thinks that you dont care,
but she might realize that its a mistake later.

sometimes she wants to hold your hand,
but she's afraid of devastation.

sometimes she wants to smile,
when she saw everyone else is having a good time :)

sometimes she wants to pluck the pretty flower across the field for you,
but she wants to keep it casual.

sometimes she makes you think she didn't care,
when the fact is you were the one that are not aware of the stupid lil things.

sometimes she commits an idiot mistake,
but then she smiles away with it when she realize that everybody do so.
sometimes she thought that she's going to keep on drowning,
until she found you.

sometimes she hear the one particular song over and over again for the whole day,
and realize how much the song reminds her of you :)

sometimes when she smiles,
she wish she could make you smile as well.
sometimes when she feel strong,
not realizing how fragile she is inside.

sometimes she declare statements that are not true,
and you believe it straight away.
sometimes when she's asleep,
she wish that she will never awake.
but then, she realize.
there is so much more out there to explore,
so much more beautiful songs to hum,
so much more spectacular scenery to view,
so much more amazing people to meet,
and so much more of much more...
and from now on,
she decided to go tru her ecstatic life,
with her pretty little smile



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