CONFUSED AND LOST.

hey there, loyal readers <3

its thursday. 19th of august 2010. and I AM LOST.

i dont knw what is wrong. last night, i stay up until 3, had my sahur and slept at 4. not to sound nerdy but, i was TRYING TO study. i really hope i could stand the pressure of my first ever test here, in UiTM.

err.

yes, i too, did not see anything confusing in that situation.

so, here is the confusing part.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME!

i felt awkward. yes, even to myself. towards my studies. people around me. him. i feel like i am not myself, but this is the real me, you know what i mean? of course NO. because i dont even know what I meant. this awkward feeling, is just so confusing. VERY CONFUSING. *sigh*

being homesick is not a good thing too. feeling strong, at the same time, fragile, is another confusing thing. i know i can go through this. i know i can stand here alone, without my family, my bestfriends. well, almost everyone here experienced the same thing. but, as for me..... i laugh A LOT! having a total great time, in class, in hostel, with all the lecturers and friends. but when i felt close to home, especially with the smell of my bedsheet and my bearbear, my desire to be at home is just too much.

but dont worry, i'm not gonna break down and cry for home -_-"

jee, im much stronger than that.

...

and i'm lost.

sometimes too much to think about.

sometimes lost in a crowd.

sometimes just lost somewhere, somehow...

please bring me back into reality.