please make it stop.

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be a little sensible, will you?

you did it once, it is acceptable

you did it twice, it gets a lil bit annoying.

you did it thrice, I FEEL LIKE THROWING A CHAIR TO YOU.

yes, it matters.

THESE LITTLE THINGS MATTERS.

and it is not little things.

it stuff that i hate.

AND YOU KNOW IT.

damn it, it is not bloody funny!

can you use a lil brain of yours?

cant you think i might freak out and cry?

maybe i could just be scared to death?

it doesnt matter to you, kan?

what i might think, what i might feel, it simply does not matter to you.

because the fact is, you dont actually care what i feel.

sometimes i wonder why you always do stuff that i hate?

look, i am trying so hard here.

if you are trying to make me hate you, congratulations.

IT FCKING WORKING.

p/s: dont worry. i will forgive you before i went to sleep because i dont sleep with anger. tomorrow, when i decided to just get over it and give you ANOTHER chance, you can always do that again. because i am just NOTHING. just a stupid girl that dont mind to be fooled around. thankyouverymuch.

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something i got from facebook.

I’m afraid of…

[X] the dark

[ ] staying single forever

[ ] being a parent   

[ ] giving birth

[ ] being myself in front of others

[ ] open spaces

[X] closed spaces

[X] heights

[X] dogs - if random wild dog that like to chase people for fun

[ ] birds

[ ] fish - only the gigantic ones. scares the crap out of me.

[ ] spiders - more to GELI. when they have their little feets on your skin.

[ ] flowers or other plants - wild plants, maybe, especially the weird looking ones.

[ ] being touched

[ ] fire

[X] deep water

[X] snakes

[ ] silk

[ ] the ocean

[X] failure

[  ] success

[X] thunder/lightning

[ ] frogs/toads - geli yang amat. 

[ ] my boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s dad

[ ] boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s mom

[ ] rats

[X] jumping from high places

[ ] snow

[ ] rain - i love this thing the most <3

[ ] wind

[X] crossing hanging bridges - especially when you have idiots that purposely swing it just to scared me,

[X] death - everyone does.

[ ] heaven

[X] being robbed

[X] falling

[ ] clowns

[ ] dolls (u know,the ones that can kill you...) 

[X] large crowds of people

[  ] men 

[ ] women

[ ] having great responsibilities

[ ] doctors

[X] tornadoes

[X] hurricanes

[X] incurable diseases

[X] sharks

[ ] Friday the 13th

[X] ghosts

[X] poverty

[ ] halloween

[ ] school

[ ] trains 

[ ] odd numbers

[ ] even numbers

[X] being alone

[X] becoming blind

[X] becoming deaf

[ ] growing up

[X] creepy noises in the night

[ ] bee stings

[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals

[ ] needles

[X] blood

[ ] dinosaurs - huh? o.O

[  ] the welcome mat - wait.. WHAA?

[ ] high speed

[ ] throwing up

[ ] falling in love - maybe.

[ ] super secrets

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rehab

we always afraid of making mistakes.

and so, we often running away for it.

we do things differently and claim that we dont wanna commit anymore mistakes.

without realizing that you are actually making EVEN MORE mistakes.

so, why exactly we always afraid of making mistakes?

isn't that what everyone do?

....

so today itself, i discover something.

its okay to make mistakes.

we are born to make mistakes and then we learn from it.

and that does not mean that we cannot commit anymore mistakes.

we will keep making mistakes. 

just make sure it is not the same mistakes.

try committing other mistakes and learn different things in life.

that is how it goes.

lets forgive and remind yourself that everyone make mistakes,

everyone have their own flaws,

AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG ABOUT THAT.

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am i asking too much?

how about requesting for an ending?

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and the POWER VOCAL goes to.....

FAIZAL TAHIR!!!

okay. 

he won POWER VOCAL AWARD in ShoutAwards

which i will actually sue them if they didn't give the title to him.

and

HE IS BRINGING TWO FREAKING SONGS TO AJL's FINALS! 

:D :D

i am so freaking excited make me have to blog straight away. :P

i am a big fan of him.

and i dont freaking care what other people want to talk about him.

because for me,

HE IS A LEGEND.

great voice.

great personality.

:)

yes, everyone, for the third time in a row. he brought TWO of his songs to finals.

and he is an AWESOME singer.

BE JEALOUS.

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imissyoutoo ;)

who else but THEM.

my keAWESOMEted bestfriends.

:)

we suppose to be out to sunway like tomorrow but im not gonna be in town tomorrow.

so yea, IM EMO NOW.

x(

what do i miss about them?

are you kidding, ITS EVERYTHING!

the hangout, the gossiping, the goingcrazytogether, the EVERYTHING.

but i just have to be away and i am sure that there are always a next time.

sorry korang!

iheartyou!

you wont hate me for cancelling the goingout, right?

of course you wont hate me.

im just too cute to be hated.

*winks

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look what i found!

"It's better to get hurt than to feel nothing at all,"

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my imperfection.

i know i am not pretty much of a good friend.

everyone is somehow never good enough for us.

then, pardon me if for being imperfect.

...

it is somehow quite confusing when it comes to situation when you have no freaking idea what to do.

back then, when i use to talk too much ppl tend to get annoyed.

when i choose to not to talk that much, they somehow have problem with it too.

i accept the fact that i am not perfect.

i accept the fact that nobody in the world is.

i am aware that i am not always there for my friends when they really need someone.

i am aware that sometimes i have to handle things on my own.

but as ainur said...

when your friend couldn't be there all the time for you,

believe in yourself and you will do great on your own.

because people always said that , i'll be there for you.

but believe it or not, they dont.

for some unfortunate day, you wake up and thought that you always have them, but the first thing you realize is that you have to handle things on your own.

and with that, we grow up and be stronger and learn more about things in life. 

so dont be too upset when sometimes you feel that they are not there for you. because, without realizing, you actually not always be there for them too. :)

:)

but i will always try my best to be the best friend to you;

to always be there for you.

sorry for my imperfections.

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a little understanding would be nice

so i had a fever.

again.

i think its due to COM161 tense + lack of sleep + how i was dancing in the rain yesterday evening.

-__-"

please do not blame me. it was just so temptating.

so it was kinna a bad fever. 

but i get over it already, as usual.

except my mom dragged me down to the clinic and force me to swallow those pills that taste like shit.

and it actually make me sleep like a dead girl whole day.

but i am awake now and feels a lil better.

well, i dont have a good start of a day today.

i hope i can do a lil something about this.

because i starting to feel like this whole thing is sort of a mistake.

i just need these people to be alittle more sensible.

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its TOMORROW.

so, im having my final paper in less than 12 hours time.

and i am BLOGGING.

without actually ANY AT ALL intention to study.

seriously speaking, i am not looking forward in sitting this final paper.

which also means i dont even give a damn about it and not at all seriously study for it.

and this is exactly why i refuse to go back home back then in studying week.

because i will end up NOT STUDYING.

*sigh.

anyhow,

lets talk about the good things about tomorrow.

...

well, i finally will end up the 'PART ONE' title.

i hate it when the seniors do that, really.

WE ARE THE PARTONES, so??

hate it when they being so semester bias. -__-"

whatthehell, i am going to my second semester soon and the title will somehow DIMINISH.

aaand... 

i give my word, 

that i will not be so semester bias to my juniors later on.

BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH IT ANNOYS YOU.

and i dont want to be UNlike.

cant wait to reach that pretty moments. :D

have a good day, readers!

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a happy day :)

me, him

why do you like me?

i dont like you, i love you.

<3

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missed out HOME.

i was talking about homesick earlier, back then when i was in Lendu. 

but its funny how i did not talk about home when i am here. :P

dah nak pergi balik lendu dah punn, baru nak teringatt. HAHA!

so, yes, talking about homee. <3

i am doing just perfectly fine here at home. well ofcourse, couldn't be better.

eventhough im a lil sad when my mom have to go someplace else for a week just when i reach here, but it was doing all fine. :)

i have my bed back. :D :D that is the best part.

i reunite all my bears back and i can see the happy look on their faces. ^^

i spend time with christina and her cousin, syazwani, but we just hang around the area. they planned to go out, and asked me to join but i prefer stay at home and cuddle my bearbear. :D

i have a major great time with my cat, BLACK, who have been a great company when my parents and older brothers off to work and the lil one disappear in school or somewhere else. 

thanks, black, i will always love youu. :)

and i have fun back to my old routine, which is cooking and i just enjoy doing it even sometimes they might say my cook sucks. -_-"

whatever.

so now, im looking forward to TEMBAK my final paper to end up my first sem in UiTM, and then, i can go gaga with my ke-AWESOME-ted bestfriends that i missed just so bloodyhell much, 

AINUR! BERNICE! LETS ROCK THE TIMES SQUARE AGAIN! 

aku nak jeritjerit lagi. :P

damn, i miss you guyss.

14th November, come faster, will ya?! 

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refresh

so, i make a whole new look for my bloggie. just getting sick of the old ones.
it is now 355am and i am still awake to wake my father up at 4 later, he needs to go someplace early for work.
whatever.
i couldn't sleep because i heard noises outside the house.
its pretty much scary.
PRETTY MUCH?
it scared the hell outta me!
erh.
i never heard weird noises at my house before.
i dont know why this time. -_-"
okay.
its already 400am. should go wake up my dad and SLEEP.
esok je la studyy. :P
nights :)

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im not a quitter

i promise to hold on, and that is how im gonna do it.
i promise to be strong, and that is how its gonna be.
i promise i'll stay, and you will see me nowhere else.
i promise i'd be happy and dont you ever turn that off.
i promise to smile, and that is only when i saw you smiling.
i promise stay out of misery and that is only if you be understanding.
i promise to be a good friend, and you can consider me as BFF.
i promise to be there when you need me, so, call me when you need a shoulder to cry.
i promise i'll hold your hand when you're lost and together we find our way home.
i promise i'll be good, but "good" seems not to be enough for them.
i promise to be myself, and with that, you still cant figure out who i really am.

PROMISE seems to be an easy word to say, but not an easy thing to keep. but you know that i will try to keep those promises we make and i do hope you keep your words too. im looking forward to have you in my life FOREVER. :)

dear you,

it have been one month ^^

loveyoulots

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lets make a wish upon the shooting star.

eh. tu kapal terbang laa. -_-"

patutla my wish never come true. 

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that is not my story tell

back then when i was a little, when every problem can be solve by ice-cream and chocolates, i glares at the people that seems to be "allergic" to ice-cream and chocolates.

BECAUSE I THINK ITS AWESOME!

and everyone have to just agree about what i think.

and when they dont.

it gets to my nerves.

sounds familiar?

well, yes, that is the typical me now, you can say.

i notice that sometimes.

but i seems to not give a damn about it.

but i guess its time to make some changes in life, dont you think?

sorry about that.

sorry about my awful flaws.

anywayssss.

i caught on a fever.

just a light fever, but it still could bring me down, tho.

*sigh.

now is 1.03am and i am blogging and hearing

The Only Exception fron Sam Tsui.

this guy can sing beautifully, no joke.

you should go watch.

back about my slight fever...

its deepavali and i slept the whole day today.

not really the whole day but, yea, you can say.

i still have not done unpacking stuff.

one more luggage to go.

the final one, i promise, :P

i should be studying since my finals have not ended.

one more paper to go and it is not so an easy paper and i am not that smart.

so i have to start studying.

and

and

and

and i miss you.

do well iin exams, yah?

:)



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may i give my word?

i, suhaida sulaiman, do solemnly swear

that i never gonna talk too much,

especially on pointing out others' mistakes,

giving advices,

and

speaking out my opinions.

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okay. lets keep it real.

i have an exam tomorrow.

well, it is quite important.

IT IS THE FINAL EXAM.

and the problem is, i am not myself.

i should stop whining about home.

i should stop thinking about the unnecessary things.

i should stop expect too much from ... whatever.

i should stop worry about making mistakes.

i should start being myself again.

and do i need a reason for that?
yes, because i have a FREAKING EXAM tomorrow.

i should just stop this whole bullshiting stuff that have been come across my way.

maybe this is just because of the homesick.

so, lets ignore it a while.

lets talk about something else.

i dont wanna sound lame,

so i really should stop writting eventhough i actually have alot to tell.

i guess i have to hold it back, still.

have a good day, readers.

perhaps if you do have a good day, i will too.

lotsofhearts.

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can you be more sensible?

empty.
zero.
*cricketsound*




























you really should stop playing with words
and start prooving me that your words is true.

dont make me start wondering.

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