f March 2011 ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Thursday, March 31, 2011

31st March 2011

and someone is turning 19.

i cant remember when was the first time we met.
but whatever it is, 
i am greatly thankful that we found each other.


nineteen years of living has taught me a lot about friendship.
basically, friendship is not about who stays as a companion or just being source of laughter,
but someone who still be there to lend a shoulder to cry on.
and that is exactly what i have her doing.
the one that having the best next word after you spitting out your sorrow.

i sure miss having my bestfriends around, i sure miss having us go for lunch together in school
and stalk over some people that we clearly shouldn't have.
go crazy with other classmates,
make some stupid joke and laugh our lungs out.
only God knows how much i miss that moment.
how much i miss us.


hey, birthday girl :)
looking at this girl over here, i feel like im missing the part of you being so NOT you.
being so vain and all.
it is just something that i should NOT miss out on. 

i dont know what else i should write about.
i mean, how can i possibly describe you in words?
you are the person of the warmest heart of all and consider myself so lucky to have you as my friend.
whatever ups and downs that we are up to,
i want you to know that
i loveyou and respected you for the values that you have.
you know what, 
i think you deserved a big place in my heart too.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

oi shahira zaini!

lets give a big hand to my comel friend here,


thankyou for being there when noone else seems not to care.
thankyou for listening and cope with my shits.

but whateveritis, KAU TETAP GEMUK! :P

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if that was real, 
i really thank you, Allah.

and that just made the best day of my entire life.

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Monday, March 28, 2011

*insert muka confuse here*

im in one of those moods,
that nothing is really wrong with my life.
but my brain keep insisting that there is.
or maybe its my heart that doing the insisting.
i cant really tell.

you know that feeling?

argh! im outta here.

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Sunday, March 27, 2011

without words

i hope i could read whatever you have there in your pretty little mind...
no matter how much you mess me up, 
i still miss you. 

and i effing hate myself for that. 

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Friday, March 25, 2011

dont forget to love yourself

i used to be so flexible, you know. i use to just accept people not being fair to me and do a little crying and just forgive and forget the whole freaking thing about it the next day. i used to be very paranoid about what people might think or might have said about this little things of my doings, what they might feel or something else.

that part of me have long gone.


i tend to love myself then, being selfish to people that tend to be selfish to me. i am just tired of being the one that been pushed around.

i can no more tolerate with people who only thinks about themselves. im tired. i want to spent time for myself.

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The Memories Remain

 saya nak tengok cerita Merong Mahawangsa boleh tak?

i think i really a day out. 
a break.
but i cant. 
i just cant have any.
assignments are piling up and all.
and i dont feel so good leaving it all.
even though i know i deserve some fun.
but i know all the work have to be done too.
i have to be professional.


*krik krik krik*

okay. post kali ni sebenarnya tak ada niat untuk berunsurkan ke-emo-an yang melampau seperti postpost emo yang lepas.
saya sebenarnya mahu bercerita tentang 

*sambil mata bersinarsinar*
ofcourse, when talking about anuarzain, 
even a guy could become GAY for him.

okay. that's too much.
all i want to say right here is that 
his new song, that he sang for the movie, Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa entitled Sedetik Lebih,

i fell in love straight away.
i dont care what the different opinion you have on the song, 
but i just love the way he sang it.
and i just love the written lyrics of it.

you'll love it. but sure not as much as i do. :P

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Thursday, March 24, 2011


dont try to find my facebook account, fellas.
i deactivate it.

i had a strange night yesterday.
very. rare.

i will be okay in a few ... i dont know.
but i will, apparently.

but dont worry, i will be back on facebook, soon enough :)
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Monday, March 21, 2011


you know that feeling?
when you're waiting
waiting to get home, into your room,
close the door, fall into bed,
and just let everything out that you kept in all day.
that feeling of both relief and desperation.
nothing is wrong.
but nothing is right either.
and you're tired.
tired of everything, tired of nothing.
and you just want someone
to be there and tell you it's okay.
but no one's going to be there.
and you know you have to be strong
for yourself, because no one can fix you.
but you're tired of waiting.
tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone and everything else.
tired of being strong.
and for once, you just want it to be easy.
to be simple. to be helped. to be saved.
but you know you wont be.
but you're still hoping.
and you're still wishing.
and you're still staying strong and fighting.
with tears in your eyes.
you're fighting.

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Saturday, March 19, 2011


i always looking forward for the sun to set down completely.

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Friday, March 18, 2011

falling in love

err. jangan terpedaya dengan tajuk post di atas.

i love you till the end

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

goodmorning :)

it is a beautiful morning out here in Lendu. 
i love the sound of the birds that always woke me up because my room is near to one big tree.
its cold.
but t feels good.
i feel good, today.
sorry for the last post.
sorry for being rude and all.
maybe is should be a little less emotional about everything. 

maybe i should just ignore these people that seems to not worth to pay attention to.
or maybe i should just be a little more understanding.
maybe i should be stronger.
maybe i should just stop being a drama queen.

okay dah.

have a good day, rakanrakan :)

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

i gave up on you.

there were times when i reach out for the stars and wish that things will go the way i hope it will be.
but nothing is going to change the reality.
i will go on with my life,
and you will be you.

im not sure what might have go wrong,
but i thought you'd be good in understanding.

have a good night morning, fellas.
have a good life ahead.
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Sunday, March 13, 2011


i am devastating.
help. please.

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Saturday, March 12, 2011

it must be magic.

awaak, nyanyi lagu ni untuk saya, please :)

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Thursday, March 10, 2011


i don't have the stunning eyes that make you want to stare deep into them and wonder about their color. my body is covered with scars from the times i fell on my knees as a kid or climbed over things scraping my skin or from lousy mosquito bites that i cant really get away from. nor am i the skinny hot girl who takes breaths away, stopping people in their tracks. and sometimes my hair doesn't look the best, it can be poofy in certain places or just a plain mess that's unfixable for the day. really, what makes me up is flaw after flaw. but neither do i think i could handle being perfect in every way. and even just in one way. because the price of living life the way i do is imperfection. and i'm okay with that because i get to live the life i want.

i hate myself a lot sometimes. 

but i learn to be grateful :)

and you, beautiful people, you should too. 
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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

a few facts

ten things i wish i could say to ten different person;

1. hey stupid, i like you so much.

2. i am sorry, i am just afraid of the thought that you might not the person i thought you are.

3. please just be grateful. you have a pretty awesome life.

4. shut up, i hate hearing your voice!

5. imissyou. I MISS US!

6. you said you wont give up to show how much you want someone.
you make it clear to me by letting go that fast.

7. you are just one pathetic desperate loser that anybody that falls for you will be one idiotic human being.

8. seriously, please tell me what i should do. stop playing games. PLEASE.

9. please just grow up. i cant stand immaturities right now.

10. iloveyoutoinfinity :)

nine things about myself

1. i am fragile.

2. sarcasms hurts me pretty badly.

3. i get easily annoyed by this bunch of people that are DYING for attention.

4. i trust people really easily even when i am taught, since small, not to.

5. i spend 1/5 of my sleeping time fantasizing about miracles that may magically happen on the next day.

6. i often lie to myself in order to catch some breath sometimes.

7. i wish i could have full control of my life.

8. i often say something i dont mean and curse my self out of it later on. 

9. i love loving someone's imperfections :)

eight ways to win my heart

1. smile to me :)

2. be stupid with me.

3. be nice to my friends.

4. serenade to me 

5. dont be such a dickhead.

6. want to spend a lot of time with me.

7. tell me how you feel

8. tell me your secrets.

seven things that crossed my mind a lot

1. The Almighty and of course, myfamily

2. food

3. friends :)

4. beaches.

5. musics

6. HIM

7. what the eff is wrong with me?! -.-

six things i do before i go to sleep

1. went to toilet.

2. clear my bed.

3 off the lights.

4. recall what happened for the rest of the day and forgive everyone.

5. do a little prayer for the sake of my family

6. text/call him.

five people who means a lot to me.
(excluding family and religious matter 
and in no order whatsoever)

4. Christina John Nathan

four most important things in my life

1. Black, my fat cat

2. cell phone

3. laptop

4. myself.

three songs that i often listen to
for now

1. it is all because of you - neyo

2. grenade - bruno mars

3. hanyut - faizal tahir

two things i want to do before i die.

1. travel to Italy and France.

2. lie on the beach with him all night counting stars. 
(for now, there is no specific person for him)

one confession
i try to help as many people as i can with their problems and i dont bother telling them mine because i think they have enough to worry about. 

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

only if you knew...

what i have right here for you 

i bet you will not be doing this to me. 
please get this over with. 
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Monday, March 7, 2011

and its all because of you :)

i suppose to be studying right now but i just have to let this be on my blog for a while.
something that happened yesterday.
something that just make everything better.

have you ever fall for someone but you daaaamn afraid to admit it?
i am not so sure whether i am afraid of admitting it or i am just ...

but sayang, yesterday was :)
when i kept silent, doesn't mean i dont have anything in my mind.

i dont care if you mean it or not. 
i will keep this song no matter what you have in mind yesterday.


please just prove me that i am doing the right thing.

somehow you just captivated me.
with some stupid jokes and sarcastic words.
sometimes it hurts when you're acting this and that way.
but then those are the things that proved me that this thing i have is real.

i dont want to fall that easily because i've learned my lesson.
but i hate it when i said "no, i dont like him," my friends know that i am lying.
maybe i should tell my brain to not listen to my heart too much.

i dont know what to do.
but you are my favourite :)
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Sunday, March 6, 2011

heyhey. its 2:15 in the morning!

sometimes there are things that are very hard to admit.
even to your own self.

and sometimes there are things that we have SWEAR that we never going to admit.
sometimes they just worth to be forgotten.


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Friday, March 4, 2011

saya suka senyum :)

pada ketika ini saya sedang memejamkan mata saya dan bersyukur kerana saya tidaklah mempunyai seseorang yang bergelar 'BOYFRIEND'. hihi. sebab saya suka membalas senyuman merekamereka yang lain. :P

okay. apa aku merepek ni?

dah dah lupakan itu.

anyways, assalammualaikum~ (baru lepas menghafal hafazan, jadi alim sikit :P)
hi rakanrakan, awak apa khabar? oh bagusla kalau khabar baik. kalau tak baik, tak payah makan ubat k, senyum dan berketawa je. pergi la cari stupid jokes dekat youtube ke apa, dan ketawalah bergulingguling.

confirm lepas tu, khabar kamu semua akan menjadi baik, insyaAllah :D

sekarang pukul 1210pm dan saya baru bangun tidur.

tak senonoh kan? ish ape la suhaida ni. -_-"

oi, sedap je mengata kan? tanya lah dulu kenapa bangun pukul 12? ish.
okayokay. ceritanya sangat macam AWESOME. sampai saya sendiri tak mempercayai tahap ke-AWESOME-an dia. haha.
anywaaay, the thing is, semalam, Intan Syazliana, my roommate, ajak saya tolong ajar step zapin dekat budakbudak part one kolej Tun Puteri yang masuk pertandingan menari masa malam citrawarna nanti.

k dah jangan ketawa k.

saya memang sebenarnya tak ada bakat terpendam untuk menari. err. jangan nak kata bakat terpendam. saya rasa saya lansung tak ada bakat menari. haha. tapi, bila masuk semester kedua ni, saya join kelab tarian dan kebudayaan for the elective koko so i just know the basic steps. and she asked me to teach those basic steps to the partones and so that was my job la, just shared what i know. well, ofcourse i am not good in dancing tho. but hey, i dont do that bad *cough* and the most important thing is that WE HAD FUN! :D

it was fun, really.

atleast it really releases some stress and it really fun. it is even more fun to compared to the koko time. teaching them those steps are definitely A LOT MORE FUN.

sumpah tak tipu.

okay fine. sekarang nak gelak, gelak laa.

suhaida sulaiman menari zapin!! *sambil gelak gulingguling selama 483 jam tanpa henti*

saya dah tau dah. kamu semua memang kejam. okaybye.
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