f EGO ~ BeautifulSmile♥

I am perfectly made, and wonderfully flawed. Hi

Saturday, May 14, 2011



i know exactly what that little word means.
i know exactly how it feels to deal with the kind of people with a lot of that in self.
i know exactly who have a huge deal of that in them.
i am completely aware.

please don't treat me like someone that don't know anything. 
or perhaps just someone that just be okay with any shits you have done to me.
no, i am not going to be okay if you messes up with my already-messed up life.
thankyou, but i don't need you to add up to that.

my job is not to please you all way long.
i am not made to make you feel good, 
to feel like there is someone that will always be there to fill up the empty moments, when you are BORED.
and at other times, you just push her away.
and when she cant be there to fill up your BORED moments, 
you just going to get upset and treated her as someone that make some huge mistake,
that you couldn't just to give her some space to, perhaps, apologize.

i am a girl with ego too, i can say. i know i have that too.
everyone does.
but i surely know how to handle it.
i know how to apologize when i know i did something wrong.
but a lot of times, i did apologize to something that i didn't even know what i did wrong.
i know how to thank to people that made my day, 
i know how express my feelings correctly.
i know what i am doing. 
you know nothing about me to simply judge me like how you want to.
that is what you ALWAYS do pun, JUDGE PEOPLE. all the time.

if you want to talk about limits, then lets talk about limits.
i have to know my LIMITS when talking to you so that i wont hurt you much?
what about your limits, doing stuff that rip the hell out of my heart,
say some stuff that clearly JUDGE me that make me feel like slapping you every time i hear it.
if i have to know where my limits are, what about your limits, then?

when you did something wrong and i tend to ignore you, you just let me be and ignore me back.
and i have to come to you because i want to make it clear to you that i love having you around.
for that, i have to apologize and turn everything around make it look like it was my mistake.
when i seem to do something wrong, you tend to ignore me too.
but i make some effort to know what are the real reasons are.
and again i have to apologize and make things straight.
but i don't mind.
just thought it is better that way than not knowing anything.

and still, i am the one you blame for being ego.

i fell for you and it hurts much because you wasn't there to catch me.
i honestly believed in you and it clearly turns out to be a mistake.
 i could be hoping that i don't even met you before or 
i wish you never existed,
but why should i waste my time wishing for something no good 
when i can just close my eyes and let you go 
and believe that someone is just waiting to be found.

i am not pretty,
i am not smart.
i am not so sure you are anything close to that either.
i am never to look down or you.
i never judge you.
i don't care if you are gay,
or not so clever,
or egoistic,
or a bad-mouthing person, 
because i don't judge who my friends are.
but now,


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