Being Myself.

I care. Sometimes too little, sometimes too much.
I pretend. A lot.
I hid my feelings and emotions.
I am being very selective in choosing people to share my problems.
I worry too much.
I think too much.
I love too much.
I strive for perfection.
Obsessed about being happy.
I am easily annoyed.
I got angry easily.
My emotion could change at the blink of an eye.
I am straight forward.
I am selfish at times.
I am dying to make my friends happy -- but at times I failed miserably.
I ignore because I don't want to get hurt.
I distance myself because I don't let anyone to hurt me.
I'm scared.
I love myself no more than I love the people I love.
I held grudge.
I got jealous.
I believe what's mine is mine.
I find it hard to swallow criticism.
I regret on my words most of the time.
I regret on most of my actions most of the time.
I believe in magic.
I believe in something unbelievable.
I like fat people, they are interesting people.
I like being friends with gays, because they are more of a loyal friend -- at least some of them.
I have ideas but I am bad at planning.
I hate surprises.
I love food.
I love to smile.
I love to hide behind my smile.
I like to work alone.
I am very choosy, very selective and very peculiar.
I am observant.
I cried and screamed to my pillow to feel better.
I have a miserable life.
I constantly feel like I am the only one who cares.
I am always stress, depress and over react at times.
I hardly voice out my thoughts.
I am ALWAYS afraid.
I am always uncertain.
I am indecisive.
I rage a lot, but incapable of hate.
I keep knowing things that I am not supposed to / don't want to know
I am poor.
I have so many high expectations on myself and people I look up to.
I am a dreamer.
I fell for people who fell for someone else.
I got hurt. A lot.
I live.
I breathe.
I learn each and everyday.
I stand still and strong despite of all the shits that life had threw on me.
I will stay strong.
For myself and for everyone I love.
I will hold on to every bit of my hope and faith.

Hi. my name is Suhaida and I don't live in the fairytale. My life is not as easy as yours. Being me is perhaps the last person on earth you want to be. I am nothing like you'd ever imagine. I have gone through the toughest road that I doubt anyone of you have been through. I have witness the most terrible of things. I have had to swallow the most bitter fact that ever exist in the world. I have been down on my knees and I might be again. I fall, I break, I crawl and keep on going. I smile, I laugh and tell the world that everything is going to be okay. I be strong for myself so that I can stay strong beside the people I love.

You think you had the worst day/week/month/year/life?
Well, think again.