will this makes you feel better?

i am ALWAYS scared

afraid of A LOT of things.

sometimes i even afraid to talk, because it might hurt.

sometimes i even afraid to think, because it might turn out to be WRONG.

i'm afraid to walk away, because i'm afraid i might lose you COMPLETELY.

i'm afraid to tell you i lke you too because i'm afraid i might dont mean it.

i DONT KNOW how to hate.

seriously, no.

the only one i can say i HATE now is,

MY BROTHER'S GF.

but then, still, i go to her and salam her when she stop by the house.

-_-

maybe i dont find the REALLY right person to hate. haha.

i PRETEND to be happy, to LET GO of the misery.

and sometimes, it does works.

sometimes, i do feel happy FOR REAL.

no joke :)

pretending is not ALWAYS a bad thing.

but its MOSTLY not a good thing.

sometimes its ok if you wanna PRETEND that you care about me, so i can find out and give you a slap.

haha.

no, i mean it.

i observe people,

i read their stories,

i learn their mistakes,

so that my life will turn out to be better.

but sometimes, i do feel that i'm FAR worst than they are.

i've been hurted too, darling.

well, yes, pretty badly.

its not so easy to let go, you know.

because you believe and you was hoping.

but now, i am strong enough to let it go.

i know its only something we went tru as we grow up.

and i'm glad i will still have him as my friend.

sayang, just be glad that our lives couldn't be any worse.

love your life.

forget the jerks that hurt you.

will always be there to support you.

love you loads.

:))