new look :)

"smiling doesn't always means you are happy,

sometimes, it means you are strong enough to face problems"

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its hard to run away from that feeling that hunts me every now and then.

its painful to tell my heart that i don't need it.

i keep pretending that it is better to be alone when in fact i feel so empty.

BUT WHY TAKE CHANCES WHEN I SEE NO HOPE?

WHY TRY IF THERE IS NOTHING TO WIN FOR?

well sometimes,

SOMETIMES,

it pays to wait.

never hurry. 

let infatuation die a natural death and give birth to true love when its time.

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scumbag boys.

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reality check.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?
you got attached, FAST.
and when you are attached with someone, you do everything you could to please them.
and make them happy.
its never about what you want.
its always about everyone's needs before your own.
ALWAYS.
you give out too many chances to people who quite frankly, dont deserve them.
they took advantage of you and you become a pushover.
but you are okay with that, because after all,
they are in your life and they are, at times, can be completely amazing.
and even if they screw you over, you still secretly pray to God every single night, wishing for him to at least ask if you are okay.
and you are still there for them.
because that's you.
that's who you are when you get too attached to someone.
they capture your heart, and they always have a place there.
and
and that is why it is so hard for you to let him go."

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goodmorning, Tuesday

I am not stupid.
I know the possibilities.
I remember all the things that you said and I know the awful truth that constantly knock me on the head.
but I dont bother.
maybe because I am stupid, you said.
or maybe,
because I am in love with you.
maybe.
maybe.

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:)

pcture taken from here

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I hope you are reading this.

today, something happened.
something that is not new anymore but I just couldn't take it any longer.

today, as i was in the car when my dad drove me home from work,
i realize that no one could make me feel any better,
not the way that you could.

today, I came to realize that..
that i fucking miss you too much to lie to myself about it anymore.

and i realize that,
the moment you stopped lying to your parents,
i start lying to my self.

and with that, I shall wait.

I will wait.

I always will.

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random confession

i miss having somebody to talk onthephone with.
with you, specifically.






















iloveyoutilltheend.

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and i will miss you. 

quite terribly too.

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byebye Lendu.

I got the fast track
Alhamdulillah. :)
thankyou for praying with me.
thankyou, Allah.
thankyou.

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